Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Jokes

As a child, when asked by a teacher, "What would you like to be when you grow up"? Chuck Norris answered, "Myself".
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Chuck Norris breaks Ivan Drago. Not the other way round.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to walk, he tells the universe to get him where ever the hell he wants to go and it gets him there.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy... but not Chuck Norris... he won't be dull and he's not a boy. He's THE man!
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Chuck Norris is the only known carrier of blood type Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris plays yhatzee no matter how the dice land he always gets a yhatzee........ALWAYS
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There is no such thing as being hard its called the Chuck Norris factor.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who cant go to the moon, and the only man the moon is afraid of.
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Curiosity killed the cat. Every other cause of death: Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.. not because he's afraid of the dark, the darks afraid of Chuck Norris.
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It Doesn't Usually Take A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back.....Just One Arm Of Chuck Norris Will Do!
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Before Chuck Norris was born he was a planet, at that time there were 11 planets, a planet crossed Chuck... we know the remains as the Asteroid Belt.
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Chuck Norris is the "White Ninja".
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Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris once had indigestion and they blamed it on Mt. St. Helens
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Hulk Hogan can rip his shirt off his chest. Chuck Norris can rip a suit of armour off of his chest.
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Ivan Drago(dolph lundgren) once tried to fight Chuck Norris. As soon as that fight was over the Soviet Union collapsed. Thank you Chuck Norris!
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The only reason it gets dark at night is because Chuck Norris comes out to play and the sun runs away..
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an easy chair. He likes to do everything the hard way.
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When Chuck Norris plays guitar, he doesn't turn it up to 11...he turns it up to 9000! And his guitar is a real axe.
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