Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris can staple a ream of paper to another ream of paper, with one staple.
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Chuck Norris once sneezed while out in the Atlantic. The result was Hurricane Katrina.
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If I get famous I would hire two bodyguards:Brock Lesnar and Chuck Norris.Lesnar to protect me from attackers and Norris to prtoect me from Lesnar.
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Chuck Norris is always suspicious of Conservation Trusts!
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When you're about to die you do not see a bright shining light. You see CHUCK NORRIS!!!
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Chuck Norris is right behind you! Made you look.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinity, infinity counted to Chuck Norris. Twice.
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One day, Chuck Norris lit a campfire. That day, the humans saw the sun for the first time.
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If you went to shoot Chuck Norris with a gun, the bullets would run away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a list of friends on facebook, just a list of people he has roundhouse kicked to the face.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Goldman cannot speak correctly.
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Scientists say people can't move at the speed of light, I guess they've never seen a Chuck Norris roundhouse
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Chuck Norris can live in asystole.
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Chuck Norris can get true stories from Fox News.
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Question: Can God create a weight so heavy that even God can't lift it? Answer: Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn´t run at the speed of light, the light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris has 4000 Xbox 360's. 3999 are used for target practice.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris doesn't kill people... oh wait. Yes he does. No one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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