Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Jokes

Random Chuck Norris Joke:
"Chuck Norris once set a lake on fire."
Hulk Hogan can rip his shirt off his chest. Chuck Norris can rip a suit of armour off of his chest.
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Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
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There is no Escape button in Chuck Norris's computer because Chuck Norris escapes from nobody.
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Chuck Norris played through the fire and flames in expert 100%, and drums and guitar at the same time
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same...Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris released 3 studio albums with a 12 man band...by HIMSELF
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Clothes dont fit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris fits clothes.
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Chuck Norris can lift up air
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Chuck Norris is just a dude that does martial arts. Just Jokin!!!! He can go to NASA without a space helmet, all he does is hold his breath.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris was beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris has no command button on his Mac, because he is always in command.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to jumpstart a car, the car jumpstarts itself out of fear.
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Chuck Norris never has to iron.....his clothes are scared straight
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Hell is Chuck Norris shaking his head in disapproval at you for eternity.
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Chuck Norris does not chew his food, his tongue round-house kicks it down his throat.
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When Chuck Norris works out, the machine gets stronger.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris plants bodies and grows headstones. He calls them Granite Orchards, we call them graveyards.
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